### PURPOSE

The purpose of our connection events is to provide an enjoyable environment where people can build relationships. Where we can connect the unconnected, an environment where your unconnected friends can feel comfortable attending.  These events are one of the most successful ways that people are connecting at Hoboken Grace and getting information about joining a dinner group.  And as you know, it's in these dinner groups that lives are changed and lifelong friends are made.  That's why we place such a high priority on this being part of your groups experience.

### WHAT A WIN LOOKS LIKE

A great connection event is not a huge event or a small event.  Connection events are successful based on their purpose.  Were there relationships built with new unconnected people?  Your event can be huge, but if there weren’t new relationships built than it wasn’t successful.  Your event can be small, but if there weren’t new relationships built it wasn’t successful.  There is one evaluation question for a connection event.  Were we able to build new relationships with the unconnected?  If you did, small or large event, you succeeded.

### PARAMETERS

In everything we do we understand that there are certain guidelines we need to keep in mind.

*Impact on our brothers and sisters in Christ*  

Remember, we are responsible for those around us.  Beware of this as you choose your events.  If the event is going to cause someone to stumble, avoid it.   For example, events should not be held at bars unless the bar is holding an event. (Karaoke, Trivia, etc.)

*Impact on those who are just beginning the journey*  

In all that we do we are opening doors for people to find their way back to God.  This means that we need to think through the perspective of someone who is not a believer at the event.  If the event is exclusive, avoid it.  For example events that your co-workers would feel uncomfortable attending are not connection events.  (Christian movies, rare Christian holiday celebrations, Christian concerts, etc.)

*Quality*

Everything we do communicates something about the God we serve.  There are a few things to consider in the quality of your event.

Be Prepared – Include your group so you can be completely prepared.

Be On Time – Don’t start your event late or show up late.

Be Obvious – Ensure people aren’t having to look for you, figure out a way for them to find you.

### PRINCIPLES

Be sure to take these valuable principles into account as you plan.

*Noisy places can be a deterrent to connection*  

If the sound levels are too high to talk, you’re going to have trouble connecting.  Concerts for example make poor connection events if there isn’t time planned before or after to talk and hang out.

*Quiet places can be a deterrent to connection*

If you aren’t allowed to talk you’re going to have trouble connecting.  Movies and plays can make great connection events, but only if there is planned connection time before or after over a meal or at someone’s apartment.

*Travel will often limit connection* 

Your ability to connect the unconnected will increase if the event is close and easy to attend.  If you are traveling, it helps to use the travel as part of the connection.

*Expensive will often limit connection*

You don’t have a ton of extra cash lying around, and the person you’re trying to connect doesn’t either.  Keep it simple and cheap if you want to increase your connection.

*Personal preference is a great guideline*

Choose an event your group will attend not an event that sounds like a great idea.  An unattended great idea doesn’t work.  An attended simple idea works.

### PROCESS

*Step 1.  Select event.*

Ask yourself this question, “what event can we have that we are comfortable inviting our friends to?”  If you wouldn’t invite your friends, don’t select that event. 

*Step 2. Leading*

Select one or two people in your group to manage the event process.

*Step 3.  Event Submission Form*

[www.hobokengrace.com/eventsubmission.html](http://www.hobokengrace.com/eventsubmission.html) 

*Step 4. Planning*

Plan details and assign tasks to group members.

*Step 5.  Invite and Hype*

Make sure that you are inviting your friends who would not otherwise be aware of the event!


Connection Event Guidelines

### PURPOSE

In our pursuit of Christ there are certain habits that are crucial to our consistent experience of His love and power. The
Experience Plan is a tool that allows group members to set quarterly goals in how they will build these habits into their lives. The
habits themselves are not magic, but are simply tools to pursue and experience God. The plan is our way of intentionally pursuing
God as opposed to simply hoping that it happens.

### WHAT A WIN LOOKS LIKE

A win is not about the goals you set, but about the steps you take. A win is not identifying where you should be in your habits, but
rather understanding where you are and setting the goal of taking one step forward. It is your goal to help your group members
take one step forward each quarter in at least one of these habits.

### PARAMETERS

In everything we do we understand that there are certain guidelines we need to keep in mind.

##### Quarterly Planning

Each quarter your group needs to identify and share with one another their goals for that quarter.

##### Review

Each month your group needs to review their goals for that quarter. Encourage one another, help one another, and pray for
one another.

### PRINCIPLES

Be sure to take these valuable principles into account as you plan.

Three Step Maximum

You can only do so much at a time. Don’t look to add or take steps forward in more than three areas. It’s more important to
take one step forward in one area than to become overwhelmed by the attempt to do more and end up quitting.

#### Not All at First

Group members may not understand the importance of each step or the reasoning behind that step. This gives you a chance
to explain how we experience God, but don’t feel that they need to take each step at the beginning. Some habits will be added
as they grow.

### PROCESS

##### Step 1. Print the Plans

If you can’t print them at home, we can print them for you and have them available on Sunday. Print the plans and have them
ready for the group meeting.

##### Step 2. Introduce the Plan

Even if you’re confident that everyone knows what the habits are, take a moment to explain the habits and how they help us
pursue and experience Christ. This is helpful for those who are new and is a great reminder for all of us.

##### Step 3. Give time to complete the plans.

Ensure that people understand that they don’t have to fill in more than their commitment to attend group, but ask them to
take a moment to complete the plan based on their goals for the next three months.

##### Step 4. Share the Plan

Don’t force group members to share the plan, but open it up for those who want the group to help them take steps during the
next few months. Let them share and then encourage them as they do.

##### Step 5. Pray for the Plan

Pray for the group or for each other as you begin the plan.

\*\*\*Key: Don’t allow the plan to become legalistic. This isn’t about who is where, this is about taking steps forward and
increasing our experience of Him no matter where you are.



Experience Plan Guidelines

How do you get a group of people to start talking? How do you get them to start being real? Story Cards are an exciting way to encourage people to share about their lives and spiritual journeys. You’ll be surprised by how Story Cards draw your group into deeper reflection and more meaningful conversations.

*   Ask each person to pick a card that describes their response to this question: 

    *   **Which picture best represents how you think or feel about beginning this group?**

*   Go around and have everyone share the number of the card they chose and explain why they picked the card they did. 

*   If you are meeting online, have the member share the number of the card they chose so you can share your screen so everyone can see which number they chose.


Connect with Story Cards

Week One - Connecting

After you've finished Story Card walk your group through the following:

### Play the welcome video

In this session, Pastor Chris High welcomes you to Dinner Groups at Hoboken Grace. He explains what a dinner group is and your host, Sarah Neral, challenges group members to show up, join in, and be real.

*Video run time: 8 minutes*


Together Time

It's important for you and your group to all be on the same page. We find it's best when the leader has a conversation the group as to the overview of the dinner group. Here are a few items to discuss.

*   What will your group look like? 

*   What can your group expect each week?

*   When will you meet? How long will you meet?

*   Are there specific requests related to how you meet? (Example if you meet online are they encouraged to mute when they are not talking?)

*   Roles within a dinner group:

    *   Individuals – Own their growth

    *   Group – Supports the growth

    *   Leader  – Encourages the growth

    *   Church – Partners in growth


Dinner Group Overview

While it's not imparative to discuss this the first night it is worth covering by the end of your second week together.

Walk through the Dinner Group Guidelines and discuss as a group what it means to show up, join in, and be real.


Show up. Join in. Be real.

Take some time to pray as a group. Pray for your time together and those that will join over the next 10 weeks.

For the first few group meetings, be prepared to lead the group prayer yourself. Praying out loud can be intimidating for many people, so it may be wise to wait a couple of weeks before asking if anyone else would like to lead your prayer time.


Prayer

You did it you made it through your first night as a group together! Pat yourself on the back. A few things we would recommend coming out of the group:

*   Take attendance.

    *   You should have received an email 10 minutes prior to group. All you need to do is check off who was able to attend.

*   Send a text or two.

    *   Was there anyone you want to thank for joining you tonight at group? Perhaps someone said something meaningful you and want to celebrate that. Affirmation outside of group goes a long way at creating the culture you’d like to encourage inside of group.

*   Preview Week Two

    *   If you’d like to get a jump start on the next week you can find that here.


After Group

It’s a good idea for every group to put words to their shared values, expectations, and commitments. Such guidelines will help you
avoid unspoken agendas and unmet expectations. We recommend you discuss your guidelines in order to lay the foundation for a
healthy group experience.

At Hoboken Grace we as that all dinner group members agree to three simple things.

## SHOW UP – JOIN IN – BE REAL

If you can do those three simple things we are confident that you’ll set the foundation for a healthy group where relationships are
built and spiritual growth occurs.

### SHOW UP

**MAKE GROUP A PRIORITY **// A primary responsibility of community is to prioritize for specific relationships. This requires a
willingness to be available to meet each other’s needs. We will make group meetings a priority in our busy schedules.

**BE PRESENT **// For the time that we meet we ask that you are present with us. This means silencing anything that can become a
distraction within the group.

**WELCOME NEWCOMERS** // We will invite friends to show up with us who might benefit from being a part of our dinner group
and warmly welcome those who are new to the group.

### JOIN IN

**SHARED OWNERSHIP **// Take a part in making group happen each week. Healthy groups share responsibilities and group
ownership.

**CONTRIBUTE TO CONVERSATION **// We will contribute to the group by either sharing or refraining from sharing as
appropriate. We will refrain from conversation that distracts, or derails from the conversation at large.

**SAFE ENVIRONMENT **// We will work to create a safe place, where people can be heard and feel loved. This means we are quick
to listen and slow to speak (no quick answers, snap judgments, or simple fixes).

### BE REAL

**AUTHENTICITY **// The atmosphere of a dinner group should encourage openness and transparency among members. This is an
environment where people should feel free to be themselves.

**CONFIDENTIALITY **// For authenticity to occur, members must be able to trust that the issues discussed are not shared outside
of the group. Whatever is said in the group will be treated with respect and not repeated outside of the group. Gossip will not be
tolerated in any shape or form.

**CONFLICT RESOLUTION** //In order to avoid gossip we will seek to immediately resolve any concerns by following the principles
of Matthew 18:15-17.


Resources

Connection Event Guidelines

Experience Plan Guidelines

Week One - Connecting

Dinner Group Guidelines